You have a strict deadline to finish the financial statements. 

You are supervising a team of seven trainees and for some reason they all hate you, your mama, and your mama's mama! You've had bad encounters with all of them in the last performance appraisal reviews. You have had some bad exchange of words during those reviews. Now, how do you make them like you? Before we discuss that, let me ask you some questions:

• Are you wondering why people don’t like you?
• Do you think that you are always misunderstood?
• Do your clients and colleagues find you boring?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then most probably you left the wrong impression on them. This does not imply that you are a bad person! Impression management is the process of using techniques in order to control the impression people have of you. Now, whether these techniques focus on people’s subconscious, like body language or whether they focus on their conscious mind, like the words you say, you will still achieve your outcome which is to leave a positive impression to your colleagues and clients.

The concept is pretty simple to grasp! If you punch Marios then you will watch Marios punch you back. If you smile at Marios then Marios will smile back at you. If you like Marios then he will like you. This is the concept psychologists and NLP call “reciprocity”. “You offer somebody something and that person feels obligated to repay you.”
 
Impression management

A person needs no more than 10 seconds to form an impression of someone else! And then he may need another 10 minutes to confirm his judgment. Ensure you make a good use of the first 10 seconds so that you are almost 90% done in leaving a positive impression. I know as you read this you are wondering what can you do in 10 seconds to achieve your outcome. Well, the following is a short list of some things you can do in the first ten seconds of your encounters with clients or colleagues:

• Proper eye contact shows respect, interest and that you are not shy. The eye contact should be around 70% to 80% of the time.
• The handshake must be firm combined with proper eye contact so that it leaves the impression that you are a confident person.
• Smiling will not only make the other person think that you have got a sense of humor but he will also feel more comfortable in dealing with you.
• An erect posture leaves the impression that you are confident happy or interested. Never cross your legs or fold your arms when sitting because this leaves the impression that you are not feeling comfortable or that you are afraid.
• Shower before you go anywhere and always use deodorant. You don't need to be the most beautiful or most stylish person in the room, but you should smell nice. Studies have shown that people associate good smells with positive feelings.
• People make judgments about you based on how you dress. Wear colors that compliment you and clothes that flatter your best features. Even if you feel over dressed, people will appreciate that you took the time to look nice for them. If you can wear blue clothes then do it as this will leave an unconscious impression in the mind of other people that you are loyal and honest.
• Want to be charming? Be easy to approach and polite. Be warm and friendly, even with the annoying sweaty guy, who yells inappropriate things and calls you names. People are watching how you handle yourself.
• Avoid discussing tough topics. Smile when appropriate and if it becomes impossible not to keep your mouth shut then ask a polite question, or a point of clarification. Remember, silence and a smile can go a long way.
• Be prepared to talk. If you are someone who struggles to find things to say to a new person, then talk about them. Most people are more than willing to talk about themselves. Make a list of ten things you can ask anyone and memorize them.
• Be positive. It may be tempting to start a story about your awful co-worker or scary neighbor, but don't do it. Say only good things about people. When things suddenly turn for the worse look at their bright side.
• Use humour. It may be hard not to be controversial and tell a joke and if you can't think of anything to say that won't offend someone, then keep quiet.
• Compliment the people you meet. Make it honest and try not to say the same thing to everyone. When you see that grumpy co-worker first thing in the morning, give her a compliment, then smile and tell her to have a nice day. It works. Everyone loves to be complimented.
• Be Sincere. Nobody wants to deal with fake people. If you can't give a person a sincere comment, then don't bother giving one at all.
• Give people good news. Everybody wants to hear good news. One remarkable way on how to make people like you is by giving them positive news as often as possible. In time, you'll be associated with good news and good luck.

How can I make clients like me in a business setting?

There are two key components to successfully attract clients.

• The first key is to understand that people will be attracted to you by WHO YOU ARE, rather than by WHAT YOU DO. While there will be a small group of people who will do business with you strictly based on your depth of knowledge, most people – in fact, the majority of people – will do business with you because of who you are.
• The second key component in attracting clients is actually getting out, so that people get a chance to see you, know you, and be attracted to you! The reality is that when you are in your office behind your desk, prospects never get to experience you and those people skills you possess. The result? If you try to get clients from behind your desk, you end up having to pursue them.

The magic formula!

Whether at work, at a party, with your in-laws or the man/woman of your dreams, you want people to like you. There is no shame in this. When people like you the world is a welcoming place. At the end of the day it all comes to the magic formula which consists of three things you will need to possess to make people like you even more:

• Patience
• Kindness
• The ability to shut up!

I know it’s a pretty simple formula, but it works like magic!

What if they still don’t like me?

There's nothing wrong with wanting to know how to make people like you. It's human nature. We all want to feel like we belong to someone. We all want to get people to like us. But it's also important to keep in mind that it's not the end of the world if somebody decides that he or she doesn't like you. You can't please everybody, but you at least have to please yourself. So, if things don't work out as well as you want them to, don't be discouraged. Life is not all about making others like you. It's about accepting who you are and loving yourself!