I know it appears weird for some of you.
While I normally write for people who are interested in improving their lives, I’m aware that many are committed to the opposite path. These people deliberately decline steps that would lead to measurable improvements. They prefer that everything goes wrong — for as long as possible.
Sometimes they screw up and accidentally do something right. They’re usually able to sabotage these unwanted successes for a while, but they like it best when they can prevent these positive experiences from ever happening in the first place.
If you count yourself among this group, here are some suggestions for how you can do an even better job of depriving success and ensuring absolute failure in your life and business.
Wrong Road
Notice the paths that happy and successful people take, and avoid those paths. Choose the popular paths since those will help you achieve average results at best, and average results should safely prevent undesirable feelings of fulfilment. The best roads are those that leave you feeling like you’re walking in circles till you’re too tired to walk anymore and must retire.
Roads that are flat or which slope downhill are often good choices, and they tend to satisfy the popularity requirement as well. Avoid any paths that lead over hills or near mountains; the elevated views are disturbing. If you can manage to get lost as well, that’s wonderful.
Wrong Tendencies
Observe which habits are creating the best results for you, and abandon them. Replace them with habits that ensure no forward progress. Even better are habits that cause backsliding. Watch lots of TV. Eat fast food. Avoid exercising. Make Facebook use, the highlight of your day.
Wrong Place
It’s important to live in a place that produces a going-nowhere vibe. Look for spots that attract people with average or below average incomes, and choose surroundings that are ugly. Live with people who will encourage you to take paths you clearly don’t want; living with your parents for as long as possible can be very helpful here.
Wrong Time
Never take action when you can justify delay. Stay on the side-lines for as long as you can, and avoid the field for as long as possible. Be non-punctual. Eventually the opportunities will pass. There’s less pressure in showing up late since no one will expect much of you. If you act too soon, you’re risking success.
Wrong Reason
People are extremely nosy, and sooner or later they’ll want to know about your plans. There’s an unfair assumption that everyone should be looking to improve their lives, so you’ll need to get good at deflecting their queries with false responses. When they eventually notice your lack of forward progress, put the blame on external factors such as the bad state of the economy, how unfair your boss is, how unreasonable Standard and Poors was, etc. If you tell people the truth, they may try to motivate you to make some changes, and you definitely don’t want that.
Wrong Day
Get up late if you feel best as an early riser, and drag yourself out of bed early if you feel best sleeping in late. Throughout the day, strive to do the opposite of whatever makes you feel happy and productive. Most people find it helpful to get a job doing work they dislike. This ensures that even if they manage to enjoy a nice morning and/or evening, the hours spent at work will drag the whole day down, ensuring an unpleasant overall experience.
Wrong Week
String several wrong days in a row, and you can create an average week — perhaps even a bad week if you work at it. It’s important not to do anything genuinely uplifting on the weekend — burn up the time with laziness, inactivity, and pointless entertainment as much as possible. You want to head into Monday morning feeling totally disempowered from the negative momentum. If you can manage to maintain feelings of stress, depression, or boredom throughout the whole week, you’re on target. Once you’re locked into such a pattern, don’t do anything to upset it.
Wrong Method
Learn from other people’s failures, and copy them. Use methods that have proven ineffective in the past, ensuring that you’ll get similar useless results. Look to your own past as well. Notice what has never worked for you, and keep doing it. If it didn’t work back then, it will continue not working today.
Wrong Technique
Don’t be too creative or try to innovate. Copy someone else’s technique if you can. Fitting in with the crowd is safer than standing out as a distinct individual. Style is too close to success.
Wrong Mix
Make sure the key ingredients you’re putting into your life don’t mix well together. Get a job that doesn’t pay enough to cover your expenses. Get a business partner who can’t get along with your friends. Keep yourself off balance.
Wrong Genes
Disempower yourself by blaming your problems on your DNA. Ignore the truth that your thoughts largely determine how your genes express themselves.
Wrong Ends
It’s hard to avoid setting goals altogether because part of your brain will want to fill this void. Keep this spot filled with easy low priority-goals that will effectively block real goals from accidentally happening. These have been proven to work well: make more money, get a relationship, find a job, etc. The lack of specificity makes goals unattainable.
Wrong Means
If you ever, by mistake, start working on a goal, take the lengthiest route you can. Instead of starting a real business that provides value and makes money, keep yourself occupied with pointless time-wasters. Switch projects frequently so that nothing ever gets done. Create the illusion of progress without causing anything measureable.
Wrong Plan
Create weak action plans to reach your goals, plans that any reasonably intelligent person would be avoiding. Be sure that at least one crucial step requires the help of someone not willing to assist you in achieving it.
Wrong Hands
Avoid becoming too good at anything. Skill is a recipe for success, so keep yourself as unskilled as possible. Avoid books, attending seminars, and educated people. Your education ended a long time ago; don’t try to start it again from scratch. Besides now you have family and you don’t have the time to learn anything new.
Wrong Eyes
Use a perspective that disempowers you. Don’t try to find a simple solution to your problem. If you blow problems out of proportion, it’s easier to quit. If a problem looks too easy to solve, you might be tempted to actually solve it, and that’s only going to speed you along the path of success — you don’t want that!
Wrong Questions
Ask questions that cannot possibly provide you with helpful answers, such as “Why can I never get ahead?” “Why are people always unkind to me?” “Why am I such a failure all the time?”
Wrong Replies
Now take those wrong questions, and try to answer them anyway. Be as disempowering as you can. I can never get ahead because I’m lazy. People are mean to me because I’m a loser. I’m such failure because I have no social skills, so I know I’ll embarrass myself as soon as I open my mouth.
Wrong Tempo
Go with other people’s tempo, never your own. The best advice for you to follow is that which comes from people who seem to care about you but who are too incompetent to know what they’re talking about. Seek health advice from overweight smokers. Consider money advice from people who can barely pay their own bills. Relatives are often great choices for this.
Wrong friends
Hang out with losers regularly, making them feel worthy of your company. If anyone shows the slightest hint of ambition or brilliance, accuse them of being crazy, and kick them out of your company. Openly welcome new members who demonstrate their expertise in loss making strategies.
Wrong Energy
Keep your vibe intentionally out of sync with happiness, success, and fulfilment. Visualize failure whenever you get a chance. When you feel angry, make that feeling twice as strong and show your anger to colleagues and friends. When you feel sad, maintain that feeling for weeks. Worry a lot. Know that things are always going downhill for you.
Wrong Signs
Determine that you’ve consumed a sufficient number of coffees so much so that your psychic abilities must have finally awakened. Interpret every incoming text message as a sign that you’re on the right path, even though the only people who seem to care that you exist are just as lost as you are. Interpret the seeming lack of forward progress in any quantifiable areas of your life as spiritual growth. Inner growth is always invisible anyway!
Wrong Intensity
Be a couch potato for 28 out of every 30 days. Besides why wake up at 7am and have a full day to waste in doing actual work. Then follow it with a 48-hour enthusiasm where you tell everyone you can about an inspired idea you’re never going to implement.
Wrong Tune
You know you’re on track to misery when you listen to the overall song of your life, and all you can perceive is that everything sounds like it’s out of tune. If something starts working and you begin to hear something that sounds like music, and then figure out what’s creating those nasty noise, and stop it.
Wrong Too Long
If you’re already applying most of the above, then you shouldn’t have to worry about success, happiness, and fulfilment infecting your existence. You can relax and enjoy life, if you like it.
However, if you are wondering what you can do to change things to the better then just stop doing what this article has described. The exact opposite will give you the best recipe for success which is what you need and what you deserve both in business and in your personal life.